New Approach

I used to brag about how different I was from the rest, how none-basic I am and how highly I thought of myself. Then I moved out of my parents house and moved in with my sisters so that I could attain tertiary education. I’m nothing like my siblings, I am a liberal thinker and doer. I studied the arts, I appreciate the arts way more than they ever will and not just because I am the youngest but I am nowhere near mature nor do I intend to be.

When I moved in with my sisters, I thought that all I had to do was go to school and get good grades. I was so wrong! It wasn’t until I had to prepare for a final presentation for my Oral Communications course that I thought that I was becoming a victim of the Cinderella Syndrome. Like I was shocked that it was an actual thing and that I was familiar with several victims of it, especially in my family.

Maybe I’m not really a victim but it sure feels like it sometimes. I do not have social freedom living with my sisters, one might think she gives/ allows me to have my freedom but then I think she needs to revise the definition of freedom. Maybe then she would see why I take every opportunity to be away from her or stay in my room. I can say that I avoid making friends or having any form of relationship for several reasons. Reasons that exist because my decisions must factor in how she will react should she know about anything that goes on in my life. Let me say that again.

Before I do anything that should really only concern me, I have to consider how and what I do for myself will affect my sister. How my life as an individual, an adult female university student studying communication arts and technology, will affect my adult sister who provides housing for me. Am I ungrateful? I could be. But I still think I am in my right to be unhappy with my situation. In Jamaica we have a saying, “If yuh want good, yuh nose haffi run” translation- that thing that you want won’t come easy, you have to work hard for it, maybe even suffer a little.

I’ve died inside, I wish I could say a little but I quite think it’s a lot. But once there is life there is hope (I’ve finally used this cliche), so in light of a new opportunity that has presented itself because I took a different approach I am going to try to do things a little different from now on. Nothing unorthodox or too much out of my comfort zone.

For one, I can’t post everyday. I tried, but I don’t think I’m quite there yet. I haven’t given up just yet, instead, I’ll post whenever inspiration knocks me over. Yup, I need it that much. Next, I’m gonna doubt myself a lot less and procrastinate as little as possible. Which seems to make what I said before this redundant, I’m not changing that.

Oh boy, I haven’t even posted this yet and I’m making a mess of it. Alright, the third thing, I’m gonna put myself out there more. Be a cut above the rest, be the liberal young thing I am. Continue to love my art, embrace it, share it…grow. Appreciate myself and my thoughts as much as my peers and friends do. My programme director said it best…I can’t quite remember what he said right now but when I do I’ll drop it as a comment.

Does this make any sense? I hope so!

I’m only being creative today, no energy for confusion.

Just the,

College girl.


What could be better?

These days just about every day I am caused to consider what could be better. Like what could be better than my current living arrangement for school? What could be better than undertaking my current studies? What could be better than being my age and without responsibilities other than my own self? What could be better than just about everything that I have? Right now, I ask myself what could be better than being locked in my room, listening to Ed Sheeran sing “Kiss Me” and writing a blog that reaches so few?

My answer? So many things. I could be out taking pictures of the sunset, or sitting on a beach with my toes buried in the sand, catching up with a friend. I could also be sitting with my mother watching TV or making her dinner for a change. Where was I going with this?

I could be doing worse too. I could be in Kingston, roasting in what feels like preparation for hell or lying in a hospital bed with thoughts of only the inevitable. But I’m not am I? Nope, I’m in bed writing in the hopes that better thoughts will come to me as I share those I currently poses. I might as well share some of them.

How seriously do we take our appreciation for life? To stereotype it all, enjoying life is travelling, partying, dressing in what we swear looks to die for on us and in doing all these and many others, we ensure that the world knows what we are up to? Why am I saying we though?

My travelling consists of my bed to the shower to my bed or the fridge. I’ve never ever been to a party in my entire life; the one time I tried to go to a party, I was mugged and that just totally killed my vibe. I don’t dress up, I’m in a big old sweater and t-shirt all day even though it is the summer and my room isn’t air conditioned.

I’m not complaining about my life. But, there are times I wish I did dress up and look like a human female who would attract male human beings. Suitable male human beings at that.

There’s nothing wrong with sharing with the world that you are able to live the life that you want to. I just think that in the moment you stop to share with people who wish you well, wish they were with you in that moment, wish they could do the things you do or have the experiences you have had, or those who just wish you wouldn’t…you wouldn’t everything. I think in that moment, you could possibly miss a moment that would have been so much better.

I know there are moments worth capturing; after all how else would we have memes or know what you did every second of your life. By all means share them with the rest of the world. But enjoy life more, so much more that you think about it and try to do it all over again so that you can do it even better. Bear in mind that not all things are worth redoing neither can they be accomplished a second time around.

So many things could be better and are better than this post. I should know, I’m thinking of a few. But this is what’s good about this, while I won’t check how many persons read this, I will go to bed thinking this was received by quite a few persons. Hopefully what will be better is my next post.

Do you think by sharing your moments with the rest of the world means you aren’t enjoying life? How do you know that you are appreciating life; your life that is…

I’m not confused, I promise… Just

Creatively yours

College Girl


I didn’t feel like proof reading this.

Another One

Isn’t it amazing how movies can inspire us? Trust me, I can honestly say that a number of the things I do and say were influenced by movies and music. Like the movie, “The Duff”, which encourages self-acceptance and all that good stuff. I didn’t notice I was a Duff or that Duff was actually a thing until I came across this movie a few months ago. However, its impact was only felt today, which is why I am now writing this.

Influence is a funny thing. Words can influence us and I think they may just be the greatest of all influences. Take today for instance, my mother asked me to do somethings for her as she had to take care of some business on the road. Of course after seeing the disapproval on my face of having to do actual work, she reminded me of the thing I can never get tired of hearing…”you are lazy”. I found a meme sometime last year that I shall have printed on a T-shirt.

Yup this totally describes me, even my gym instructor agrees.

So here’s what happened because of the influence of my mother’s words. Mother had put the laundry out to dry this morning in an effort to catch some sun. We’ve been having a lot of rain lately, and this has triggered me to be even more selective with my participation. Anyways, I decided to do my mom the favor and take the laundry in before the rain. Which I must add did not even happen.

So I’m minding my business and taking stuff off the clothes line and a spider attacks me out of nowhere. This thing spun a web around my leg so quickly I didn’t even have time to feel it happen. I didn’t realize my demise until it had finished spinning its web and started to make its way up my leg. Just think I could’ve either become spider-woman today or dead. I may be overreacting, but spiders have that effect on humans.

I quickly shacked it off me and stepped on it, that was sheer adrenaline. I am a natural born coward. So even though the arachnid lay dead the entire time I continued to not be lazy, I made sure to avoid it. You know, just in case it decided to be un-dead and try another sneak attack.

I think I should point out that I am terribly afraid of anything that crawls, slithers, glides, hops, the whole works. Pictures I can handle, the actual thing…not so much. I’ve slept on the couch because a lizard was in my room and my father was away and my brother refused to get it out of my room. But I digress.

I finish with the laundry and get back inside, all itchy because the invisible and microscopic species of the outdoors were crawling all over me. I had a quick and scalding shower to put my mind at ease. Made my way back to my bed, in stepping out of my slippers, I somehow step back into the slipper and step onto the buckle of the slipper which slices the bottom of my foot. At this point I’m just like, this is why you should be lazy and not care what anyone has to say. Yup, that’s what I get for trying to be un-lazy.

After dressing my wound all by myself… I’m a big girl after all and my mother was too busy on her phone. Oh yeah, she came back and was home the entire time I was under attack. Think I’m too old to call child services now.

So yeah, I dressed my wound and once again made my way back into my bed. Trying to find a movie to be lazy to, I settle for “The Duff”. I wasn’t in the mood for a new movie. But I am now! I’ll try to include it in tomorrow’s post.

Now that I have made another post, I can continue to exercise selective participation. I like this kind of participation. This is me being inspired; in a good way.

Being the ever so creatively confused,

and injured

College girl

Call it what you will…

As I write this, I am on vacation and I am at home and by home I mean my parents house. It’s funny how each time I attempt to write something here, the moments before I start up the website my mind is flooded with interesting thoughts, questions, inspiration, jokes. It’s kinda like that meme with Kermit the frog looking out a window at the rain and the caption says something about feeling like having your life together but within 15 seconds its over. Yeah, I can’t even get the meme right and I wanted to write about it. Oh well…

Here’s whats up with me…I completed my second year of University with absolutely no great achievements. Unless you count actually attending majority of my classes during the week. That’s major! I love the look on everyone’s face when I actually turn up for class, especially if it happens in the afternoon. What some people can’t understand is how I am able to maintain good grades and by good grades I mean A’s and B’s, with my poor attendance. I love to tell them I’m starting my own company, which by the way I actually am. That will be announced in due time.

Not sure who will receive this announcement as I doubt anyone actually reads my blog. Why should they though? I hardly post anything. That’s gonna change though…I am going to make an effort to write everyday.

I’d like to do something like that movie, “Julie and Julia”. I’m not gonna tell you about it, because I haven’t watched it entirely. I plan to rectify that as soon as I have posted this. I actually just watched an odd movie, “The Edge of Seventeen”. Odd because I can relate to the main character’s sense of humor, even at my ripe old age of 23. Would you believe I actually just stopped to verify my age? Thought I was 24 for a second and a half there, but that’s not for a few months yet.

Wonder if I’ll bring myself to do anything celebratory? I should go out more. And cool it with these run on sentences and fragments. Its amazing people come to me to proof read their work and value my opinion. Why wouldn’t they though?

No more rambling…although not bad for 385 words. Seemed longer to me. What seems long is riding a bus to school without headphones in to block out the noise of fellow passengers who either talk way too loud before 8 a.m. or the bus driver’s terrible music selection, even if its morning radio. I can’t wait to have my own talk show or morning show. Maybe not morning show, I’m really not a morning person and I wouldn’t want to lie to my audience. I think I’d be better suited putting people to sleep. I have the voice for that; flat and boring. I also know just the type of music to play and thoughts to encourage.

You must be wondering who thinks before they fall asleep. You do actually! Yup, unless you are one of the lucky few who pass out as soon as they position themselves to enter the land of sleepy bye. Before I fall asleep at night, I have cringe moments. Cringe moments are the seconds or minutes you recall embarrassing moments or experiences you’ve had. I usually cringe at things I’ve said that I probably could have done without, or things I’ve written in the past (grammatical errors really get me).

That’s another reason I don’t post anything, after drumming up the energy to write all that, I can’t be bothered with proof reading. Which should actually be second nature to me as a student of journalism and communication. Maybe if I write more and post them here I’ll improve my proof reading skills. Of course my writing should improve with that too, I just didn’t want to state the obvious.

This has to be the most creatively confusing thing I’ve written. Which is what I should be writing here. That’s it! I am going to write more creatively confusing…? I know you understand what I mean. At least I hope you do.

If my website brought you here, thank you for stopping by. If not here’s the link:

Until the next post…

Creatively Yours

A confused college girl

P.S. I listened to Norah Jones while writing this, I think I sound like her…at least when I speak I do.

Forward Thinking

What a year it has been. It’s a few weeks until my first  year of university comes to an end and my what a turn things have taken. New friends, new interests, lost interests, lost friends, new recipes, new confidence with just a few readjustments and new attitude towards life.

While I have an Instagram account, I hardly post anything on it. Not unless I have had a good workout session with my trainer and I’ve made new strides. Sharing my weight-loss story with classmates has been one of the best things I have done since the start of the year. They have been encouraging and motivated to take a new or few steps further into the journey of a more active and healthier lifestyle. Why didn’t I think of sharing my story before?

That’s how my new friends, new interests, new  confidence and new attitude towards life come in. I now have friends who look out for me especially when I don’t feel like working out or eating or studying. They are always curious about the food I cook and how I come to make things that are so simple taste like they were prepared by a master chef. With their compliments I will begin to put together my recipe book and seek to have it published within  two years.

My new attitude includes not giving up on myself and things too quickly; if I feel like doing that I post a meme that reflects my mood and my friends will know then that something is up. They work their magic and I’m back on track. The same goes for me whenever they feel down in the dumps. That’s how I knew I made new friends and lost a few and at the same time found new interests while losing some too.

I’ve made readjustments to my life by including healthy and positive persons and having the same healthy and positive mindset of my own. My new energy has pulled others to me and they thrive on my ideas and concepts. I’m hilarious to some but then there are those who misunderstand me.

Looking forward to completing this semester to what else will be new, what I’ll lose or who and the new website I’m working on. Minutiae.png

Group work doesn’t necessarily make the dream work

From way back in the day and by that I mean high school, I’ve never been a fan of group work. Mainly because of the clash of characters. Now even though my name says “confused”, I do have a clue. What really confuses me is the way people think and operate in my new environment.

Having to complete major assignments and even minor ones can be overwhelming, especially when the team consists of creative, innovative, intellectual and incompetent minds. There will always be that one person who believes that there ideas are always the best and of course sometimes they really aren’t. Then there’s the silent one who claims to be intimidated by all the thinkers and progressors, I think they’re just plain lazy and this refers to those I’ve had to work with.

The idea of being subjected to group work, obviously does not sit well with me as from a most recent experience, the dream my group had envisioned was compromised by one of our very own. Fortunately, my team consisted of creative and innovative minds, based on the feedback I received from other members of other groups it was not evident that what we had initially planned, didn’t exactly go as planned. My advice for comes from my lecturer; when you are presenting and you are not sure of your information or you’ve made a few wrong turns just be confident, and that is just what we did.

Now I have a new challenge for myself; group work can make the dream work, I MUST make it work.

How do you deal with working in groups? Please feel free to share with me.

Challenging Myself

Whoever said that this journey would be easy lied to me. Well maybe not, mostly because I was never told it would be easy. Challenging, yes! And my what a challenge it has been, but my challenge started months before I started the newest chapter of my book and that chapter is “University Life”.

As a first year student at The University of Technology I am faced with just as many challenges as other students. My challenges just don’t seem typical of a first year college student. My first challenge started when I became a member of the Mobile Reserve gym off South  Camp Road. For someone who has a sas mouth like I do its not exactly wise to mouth off to the instructor whose mouth and mind are equally matched with yours. The more I complained the more work he gave me but for some reason I didn’t realize I should just shut up, suck it up and get it done. So my first challenge was between myself and my trainer.

In three months he would transform my body. It has been one month and three weeks and I have lost sixteen pounds. We forgot to take pictures so we could track and prove the transformation, but believe me its there. So my new challenge is to ensure that I track my progress and get over my camera shyness.

Speaking of camera shyness, yes, I am one of those I prefer to be behind the lens instead of the focus.That’s all gonna change now, I’m gonna challenge myself to take at least three pictures of myself per week and post them to my Instagram. You can find and follow me on Instagram at @mschieniel. This challenge is based on loving myself…more.

I’ve never considered myself to be academically challenged but I did have a problem maintaining my standards. At one point I would be on point, my performance would be A+, I would be ahead of my peers and be classified as an exemplary student. Somewhere along the line I would just burn out; it would feel as though I had been working based on a sugar rush and the inevitable happened. I crashed, and just I as I crashed so did my performance. Luckily I’m not that much of a hazard so there was no great damage done.

My new challenge will be long term, and it is to maintain a certain standard for the next four years of my life. In this challenge I intend to face my obstacles and approach them head on; procrastinate a lot less and never forget my mission. What’s my mission? I’m not quite sure yet but I figure I’d better focus on these challenges because I know I have a lot more to come and they’ll only help me to figure out my mission and chart my course.

Do you have any challenges? Maybe you call them goals, I’d love to hear about them so feel free to share them with me.

Until next time this has been the creativelyconfused thank you for dropping by.